Sort of. Kind of. Sometimes.
What I'm truly afraid of: blowing out a tire while riding down a steep hill. Running out of toilet paper (seriously.....ask anyone I've ever lived or adventured with!) Getting my sleeping bag wet. My body deciding that it doesn't want to do this trip.
Yesterday was the Day of Self Doubt that precedes every large undertaking with surprising predictability. Be it a conference presentation, moving towns/jobs or an expedition there is always a moment (or many!) of deeply questioning if I am skilled enough, strong enough, resilient enough, enough of this/that/all the other things. It can be brutal! Maybe I'm alone in this experience....but likely not
It began with a flustered morning of sleeping through my alarm...then I couldn't get the tread of my rear bike tire back on the rim to ride to work (eventually I got it!) THEN it looked like despite my best efforts I had put the tread on backwards $%!@%!!!! Turns out i hadn't, but I sure felt deflated (ha!) THEN I couldn't get the shoe goo out of the tube to fix my hiking boots. THEN I was stressed about trying to figure out this whole internet blogging thing.... And to cap it off I spilled my cherished cup of tea at work after looking forward to it alllllll day. All while being so damn tired from the push of packing/organizing/getting all my resupply stuff together and out the door to my support crew.
But! I kept going...dragging myself around the garden at work. Had dinner with friends. Ate pie. Got a lift home instead of stubbornly biking for an hour in the dark. Had a shower.... And built a website, enjoying the whole puzzling process!
Today is a fresh, bright and breezy new day. There is still lots to do, but it doesn't seem impossible at this point. Once again I feel excited, confident and happy to surrender to the great unknowing of what lies ahead!
Enjoy the adventure thanks for letting us share the experience which will be life changing. Bugs & Fishes